The PCBC monthly Men's Fellowship Breakfast is THIS SATURDAY!
We will eat at 8am in the PCBC Fellowship Hall. We hope to see you there!
Archives
The Battle for a Man's Heart
As we began discussing Chapter 5, we talked about some "trail markers" of the condition of our hearts:
Trail Markers
1. The assault on a man continues through his life, and its effect is emasculation.
2. That assault is far more premeditated than most of us thought.
3. The result is a famished craving in the soul - our desperate desire for validation as a man.
4. We take our search many places, but eventually we all take it to the Woman.
Most agreed with the advice he gave his son, saying that they would have said the same thing. This brought up the very relevant issue of the way boys are viewed and treated nowadays at school, and the speed at which they are labeled "add" or "adhd" (this was touched on in Chapter 1).
We talked about a revelation that Eldridge had about the effect a beautiful woman had on a man, and how women are used in anything that companies want to market to men. He realized that The Beauty is "The grand prize if you are truly a man."
We talked about attacks on our strength - at work, at home, at Church, in our everyday lives. This led down a path some men are uncomfortable doing down...is it ok for men to cry? Not just during a war movie or Old Yeller, I mean really let your emotions out. The majority responded with it is definitely not just ok, but healthy. We talked about being masculine vs. macho.
We ended by talking about the last part of the chapter, about validation. Where do we get our validation as a man from? The woman in our lives? Our work? Our friends? Our God?
Were do you look to for validation?
Last thought:
"Christianity should bring about change in you, not convict you to act the same."
NEXT WEEK: CHAPTER SIX: THE FATHER'S VOICE
Another year, and another Men's Retreat is in the books.
A great time was had by all. If you weren't there, we wish you had been, and we hope you'll be there next year.
It was a hard retreat this year.
We laughed hard.
We hiked hard.
We studied hard.
We prayed hard.
We took a hard look at ourselves, and how we can be better men of Christ.
If you went on the retreat - here is what I ask of you:
2. Send in your thoughts on the retreat. There is no specific format, minimum number of words, or correct response. Give us your own personal reflection on the retreat.
Keep your eye out here to see what the guys had to say, and for picture galleries from the retreat.
*Note* Sorry this took so long to post - got lost in the shuffle before the retreat. - JP
The main focus of our discussion of Chapter 4 - The Wound - was families.
First, we talked about our fathers:
memories of our fathers
the types of fathers he had
fathers (and mothers) today vs. years ago
We answered the question: "Describe a time in your life when you heard words like those Jesus heard from His Father - "I am deeply proud of you; you have what it takes." "
We next talked about our relationship with our siblings, and how that relationship affected our relationship with our parents. How does this affect our lives today?
We then moved into talking about our mothers. What were some memories (good or bad) that stand out in your relationship with your mother?We talked about whether any of us had made "a vow" when we were younger. Maybe a vow to do something differently than your parents did? Was the vow made as a result of the wound?
We ended by discussing the Christian influences our families had on us as we were growing up.
Up next: CHAPTER 5: THE BATTLE FOR A MAN'S HEART!
The Question that Haunts Every Man.
Am I really a man? Have I got what it takes...when it counts?
Since the fall of man, that is the question guys have been asking themselves. We second-guess ourselves. We put up fronts, false bravado. Macho men.
Eldridge starts the chapter talking about the memory of the lion at the zoo. When you think of a lion - KING OF THE BEASTS - what comes to your mind? A caged, withdrawn, tame animal, or a free, majestic beast?
"For after years of living in a cage, a lion no longer even believes it is a lion...and a man no longer believes he is a man."
Men are cooped up. We live to do the same tings day in and day out. This is not saying that we don't enjoy family activities, kid's sporting events, dance recitals, etc. It is saying that we have lost touch with the spark in our masculine heart that yearns for something more, something bigger than ourselves.
We talked about the effects of being cooped up, replacing anyting adventurous in our lives with humdrum. Same old same old. Any trace of fierce or fire has been extinguised, replaced with fax machines and cubicle walls. The movie Office Space was mentioned, especially where the main character, Peter (after hypnotic suggestion gone wrong) decides that wearing flip-flops to work, and deconstructing his cubicle so he could see out the window was the way to go. (If you have worked for 1 day in an office, you were totally cheering him on.)The dangers (and hilarity) of posing came up. Whether it is your power tools (that you barely know how to use), your motorcycle (that you just bought, with leather and all the accessories), or whether it is talking to your mechanic ("Yeah, I figured that was the problem."). We men find ourselves posing, trying to fit into a role that we are not. Some posing is putting on our "happy worship face" at church each week. The root of us trying to measure up to the man next to us, may be deeper-rooted than you think. This leads us to where it all began...the fall of man.
We discussed how Adam was not ignorant of Eve's temptation...he was standing right next to her (Gen 3:6).
We read aloud two excerpts from Donald Miller's book, Searching for God Knows What, that really explain the ripple effect that Adam and Eve's poor decision-making had on humanity.
"But when that relationship was broken, they knew it instantly. All of their glory, the glory that came from God, was gone. It wouldn't be unlike being in love and having somebody love you, then all of a sudden that person is gone, like a kid lost in the store. All of the insecurity rises the instant you realize you are alone. No insecurity was felt when the person who loved you was around, but in his absence, it instantly comes to the surface. In this way, Adam and Eve were naked and weren't ashamed when God was around, but the second the relationship was broken, they realized it and were ashamed. And that is just the beginning.
If man was wired so that something outside himself told him who he was, and if God's presence was giving him a feeling of fulfillment, then when that relationship was broken, man would be pining for other people to tell them that he was good, right, okay with the world, and eternally secure. As I wrote earlier, we all compare ourselves to others, and none of our emotions - like jealousy and envy and lust - could exist unless man was wired so that somebody else told him who he was, and that somebody else was gone."
(emphasis mine - JP)
So, is the posing that we do to gain approval from our peers - at the auto shop, or in church - rooted all the way back to Eden, where we failed and broke our relationship with God?
We will end this week's round-up with one more quote from Miller. Take a moment and think about the enormity of what happened in that one moment in the garden, and how that affects you personally deep down:
"And this feeling, this feeling must have been so much more painful for Adam and Eve, this feeling of having an infinite amount of love pouring through their lives and then suddenly it's gone."
"I wondered how terrible it must have felt, at the fear of no longer feeling God, at the ache of emptiness and the sudden and horrifying awareness of self. God have mercy."
FOR NEXT WEEK: READ CHAPTER 4: THE WOUND!
We hope to see you all next week at 5!
Leave your thoughts and discussions in the comments section below!
The October Men's Breakfast will be this Saturday, the 3rd at 8am.
This month we will be cookin' it up for you in the Fellowship Hall at PCBC.
We hope to see you there!
We started week 3 with a video. This scene from Braveheart is very well known, but this time watch it with a different mindset. The Scottish Nobles act like Pharisees from scripture. William Wallace is telling the Scots that their freedom is worth fighting for, and sounding a lot like Jesus when he does it. Think of Mark 8:36 as you watch it.
What will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Mark 8:36 (NKJV)
This led us into a discussion first on how Jesus is portrayed in pictures in books, or Bibles, or wall decorations. Some responses were a gentle man with a beard, who used good conditioner in his long wavy hair, and is just as meek and mild as could be. At times (minus the hair care products) he was that person. We don't often see the warrior Jesus, the one who challenged the Pharisees (unheard of in their day) and fought for our souls. The Rider on the White Horse from Revelation 19:11-21 was talked about, and how that conflicts with the gentle nice guy that wants a relationship with us, but as long as we are a nice person who always turns the other cheek, etc etc. He knew that it would be a fight to turn us away from this world and to follow Him...asking nicely won't cut it. We don't often make the "Braveheart connection", where Jesus tells us not to worship the Pharisees, but to love and have a relationship with God (just as William Wallace said not to fight for the noble, but fight for their freedom). He wants us to fight against the world for our freedom.We talked for a bit about our relationship with our father.
How did he influence us and who we have become? Is he someone who we are proud to take after?
Then we talked about our relationship with our Father.
How does He influence us and who we have become (and are becoming)? Is He someone who we are proud to take after?
Some Q&A from Week 3
What is God fighting for?
Our love and worship
Us
That we use our free will to accept Him, not reject Him
When do we turn to God?
When things are bad or when thing are going good?
What is the public perception of us, as a Christian? Are we brave or do we strive for acceptance?
They should not be surprised to find out we are a Christian-it should be evident by the way we live.
Eldridge goes on to talk about the Earth we live on. "Most of the Earth is not safe; but it's good." We are encouraged to spend an evening in the wild - walk through the woods without a flashlight, go out in a storm, etc. Experience the wildness of God, and think about how much of the world is considered (by us) unsafe, but God Himself proclaimed it good. If you do it sometime this week, share with us what you experienced.We finished the evening talking about sex (GASP!). In a nutshell, God created it, proclaimed it good (after marriage, of course), yet it remains a taboo in most churches and amongst many Christians today. If it was inherantly bad, God would not have blessed it in Song of Solomon (SoS 5:1).
On the flip side of the coin, sex (along with money) is easily abused by man. Lust is a major pitfall of men, and one we must combat frequently.
We discussed an mp3 of Chip Ingram discussing how to defeat lust. That mp3 can be downloaded here (right-click, Save File As to download to your hard drive).
FOR NEXT SUNDAY: READ CHAPTER 3: THE QUESTION THAT HAUNTS EVERY MAN!
If you missed the study, we missed having you there. We hope you all have a great week, and we hope to see you next Sunday.
As always, feel free to leave comments or start a conversation in the section below.
Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling - Philippians 2:12
I wanted to share this verse in perticular to those men going, or thinking about going on the Fall Men's Retreat. This is the central theme of the retreat this year.
Read it. Read it again. Meditate on it. Consider what it truly means to work out your salvation with fear and trembling.
If you haven't registered for the Men's Retreat yet, please consider it!
"Being a Christian isn't for sissies. It takes a real man to live for God - a lot more man than to live for the devil, you know? If you really want to live right these days, you gotta be tough." - Johnny Cash
Sept 20 was Week 2 of Wild at Heart. This week we dug into chapter 1, which lays the groundwork for what is to come.
We started off with a question from the Wild at Heart Field Manual:
"Let's say you have 3 months of vacation coming up, a sabbatical all to yourself, and plenty of cash to bankroll it. Where would you go? What would you do? What is your dream trip?"
The responses were very interesting. Here are a few:
- fishing trip to Alaska
- bicycling/hiking trip
- cross-country motorcycle trip
- trip exploring Europe
We talked about the significance of these answers. Most responses involved getting away, doing something adventurous on some level. Is this a natural reaction? Is this ingrained in all of us?
This led into talking about men through the Bible...in the wild. Moses, Jacob, Jesus. The wild called to them, and they answered.
As we delved further into chapter 1, we got into some other topics regarding men:
The "prepackaged male": "The masculine heart need a place where nothing is prefabricated, modular, nonfat, zip lock, franchised, online, or microwavable. Where there are no deadlines, cell phones or committee meetings. Where there is room for the soul." Is our masculinity (in and out of the church) being handed to us in a handy-dandy little package?
What the Church expects: Most men feel that the church expects them to be:
- docile
- safe
- nice guy
Does this fall in line with how we truly feel? How did Jesus act in comparison?
Question:
There are pressures all throughout the world to be the man we ought to be. "This is what a good husband/father/Christian/churchgoer ought to do."
Think about your life, your world. What is being asked of you? What do feel the pressure to be...
At Home....At Work....At Church?
Some felt pressure to be an example to the family. Others felt the pressure to be something they are not at their job (leaving you unfulfilled).
We feel pressure to juggle our varying priorities, incorporate God into our families and personal life, pressure to be willing to take a stand in the face of intimidation.
Pressure to be "the man".
I encourage you to ask yourself these questions, recognize what you are being pressured to "be".
FOR NEXT SUNDAY: READ CHAPTER 2: THE WILD ONE WHOSE IMAGE WE BEAR!
We hope to see you next Sunday. Feel free to leave comments or conversation in the section below.
The Wild at Heart men's study had its first meeting this past Sunday, Sept. 13.
Each week, we will post a summary of some of the discussion points that were covered in that week's study. Keep up with what you missed here, and jump back into the study whenever you like...there is no attendance policy!
We started off with some discussion of the book itself - expectations, early reactions, etc. Some that have already started the book have said it starts a little slow, but really picks up momentum as it goes on, while others are pretty much a clean slate going into it.
In the beginning of Wild at Heart, John Eldridge talks about how some movies speak to the masculine core of a man's heart.
Some movies that were mentioned were Saving Private Ryan, Facing the Giants, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, and even 300. On the surface, all (but one) are not "Christian movies". If you look a little deeper, they all have themes that really resonate with men, and if you look even deeper, you will see, behind the Hollywood effects, or even scenes we all could have done without, there are some real Christian themes throughout these and other similar films.
Unfortunately, that just doesn't sit well with a whole lot of guys. All throughout scripture, though, we are offered a much different take on what a "Christian man" is.
Daring.
Brave.
Rebellious.
Wild. (see what we're getting at here?)
The Wild at Heart study will examine what it means to take these risks in our everyday lives as Christian Men.
FOR NEXT SUNDAY: READ CHAPTER 1!
Offer up your thoughts, leave a comment, or start a discussion below.
We hope to see you next Sunday!
One of our biggest challenges as Christians is out daily struggle to be in the world, but not of it.
In his book THE FINE LINE, Kary Oberbrunner helps us navigate that line, and what happens when we get too far to one side or the other of that line.
Learn about what it means to be a transformist in the world. 
Click the link below for a free sample chapter of THE FINE LINE.
If you like it, buy it.
Don't want to buy it but still interested? Lemme know. I'll let you borrow mine.
I just want someone to read this book and get as much from it as I did.
Enjoy the sample chapter of THE FINE LINE.
The September Men's Breakfast will be this Saturday, September 5 at 8am.
Breakfast will be at Bob Evans, 14490 Smoketown Rd in Woodbridge. (this is at the corner of Smoketown and Gideon)
We will be discussing Wild at Heart, the Men's Retreat, and more!
We hope to see you there!
Breakfast will be at Bob Evans, 14490 Smoketown Rd in Woodbridge. (this is at the corner of Smoketown and Gideon)
We will be discussing Wild at Heart, the Men's Retreat, and more!
We hope to see you there!
The air is getting cooler, kids are back in school. That can mean only one thing.
Besides football.
The Men's Ministry Fall Retreat is coming soon!
We will be heading back to Crossroads in Lowesville, VA. 
Crossroads is about 40 minutes from Charlottesville.
What is Crossroads like?
Quiet. Peaceful. Serene. All of the above.
No traffic.No sirens.
No cell phone signal.
You will, however feel like the connection between you and God is up to 5 bars...full reception.
So, what do we do at the retreat?
Learn. Pray.Laugh. Cry (yep, you just might).
Fellowship. Build relationships (with God and each other).
Hike. Meditate.
Worship. Sing (out of tune, but it's all good).
That's a good start. As in the past, it wouldn't be a retreat without some teachin' and preachin' from our good friend and brother Pastor Dave Williamson. For those who don't know him, the best way to sum up Pastor Dave is he is Pastor Dougs' BFAM (Brother From Another Mother). If you go home from the retreat and haven't learned something amazing from Pastor Dave, you musta been asleep.
Signups have begun. Feel free to email us or sign up at the church.
Cost is $100, with a $20 deposit due at signup.
We hope that you will consider joining us on this extraordinary weekend.
I came across this video today (Thanks Pastor Dave!), and wanted to share it with you all.
At 9 minutes, it is a little long (by internet video standards), but was worth every second.
Take a few minutes to watch it, listen to what is said and let it really sink in.
You'll be glad you did. Have a blessed week.
To Hear The Word
And Forget To Act
Is To Plow A Field
And Forget To Plant.
James 1:22
But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves.
"God designed men to be dangerous, says John Eldredge. Simply look at the dreams and desires written in the heart of every boy: To be a hero, to be a warrior, to live a life of adventure and risk. Sadly, most men abandon those dreams and desires-aided by a Christianity that feels like nothing more than pressure to be a "nice guy." It is no wonder that many men avoid church, and those who go are often passive and bored to death. In this provocative book, Eldredge gives women a look inside the true heart of a man and gives men permission to be what God designed them to be-dangerous, passionate, alive, and free."
Many men today are conflicted about what it means to be a Christian Man in today's world.
We are pressured to be the soft-spoken nice-guy. We feel like we should act like Mr. Rogers on the outside, when we yearn to be William Wallace from Braveheart or Maximus Decimus Muridius from Gladiator on the inside.
Wild. Brave. Unrestrained in everything we do. Wild at Heart examines and explores what it means to get back that passion, and live as men made in God's own image.
We encourage you to join us as the men of PCBC accept that challenge, and find out what is deep in our masculine heart. The Wild at Heart Men's Study at PCBC will be starting on Sunday, September 13 at 5pm. Here's what you need to know...
The F.A.Q.
Q: When/where will the study be held?
A: We will meet from 5-6:30pm every Sunday at PCBC (classroom TBD).
Q: Do I need to register for the study?
A: No. This will be a loose, open study - more of an open, interactive discussion group than a "class". We will ask everyone to sign in each week, but attendance is your personal commitment, not one to the church.
Q: What do I need to bring each week?
A: We will be using the book Wild at Heart. Many recieved this book on Father's Day, but many also did not (they went fast). Wild at Heart can be found at most major book stores, plus online (Amazon). We will be using elements from the Wild at Heart Field Manual (Amazon). The Field Manual is optional, not required for the study.
Q: What if I miss a week, or Sunday evenings are not good for me?
A: Don't worry about it! We will be posting what was covered each week here on this blog, and you can feel free to leave comments, and see what was discussed and jump back in anytime. If you just can't make it to any, feel free to read along with where we are, leave comments and start discussions on this site.
Q: How long is the study?
A: Honestly - unknown. There are 12 chapters in Wild at Heart. Some may only take 1 week to go through, others may take 3. We want the study to be an organic, living thing - set it free and see where it goes.
I hope this covers the important questions you may have. Please feel free to leave any comment or questions below.
We hope you will join us as we discover how God can heal wounded hearts, put a spirit of adventure back in our life, and recover our God-given, true "wild heart". See you on the 13th!
The August Men's Breakfast will be on Saturday, August 8 at 8am.
Breakfast will be at Bob Evans, 14490 Smoketown Rd in Woodbridge. (this is at the corner of Smoketown and Gideon)
Shoot us an email or leave a comment below if you are planning on coming - we will try to reserve a section on that morning.
We hope to see you there!
Happy Father's Day!
We would like to wish everyone a Happy Father's Day from all of us at PCBC.
Try to spend some time with your heavenly Father today.
We hope you enjoy the copy of Wild at Heart that we passed out today after the services. If you did not get a copy and would like one, email us and we will see what we can do.
We will be starting a Wild at Heart men's study sometime in August. More details to come.
Enjoy your evening and have a blessed week!
I am sorry to announce that The Gathering has been postponed until further notice.
Instead, we will be having our monthly Men's Breakfast that same day.
Date and time is Saturday, June 20, 8am, PCBC Fellowship Hall. Hope to see you there!
*ONE ADDITIONAL NOTE*
We ask that a few men hang out after breakfast to help with construction of a VBS prop in the Sanctuary. This should not take long. Thanks in advance for the help!
The Men's Ministry of PCBC has been invited to a viewing of the movie Fireproof with our brothers at Neabsco Baptist Church, just down Cardinal Drive from PCBC.
The viewing will be on Friday, June 12th at 9:30pm.
Following the movie will be a roundtable discussion. This will be an opportunity to talk about many of the issues we face on a daily basis in our homes, on our jobs and in our minds.
Let's allow God to move in a mighty way during this fellowship, come with and open mind to share your testimony, your struggles your praise. Let's lift up Christ in our lives and share him with others.
If you would like to attend, please email us and let us know by Wednesday, June 10.
Links:
Fireproof Movie
FireproofMyMarriage.com
Neabsco Baptist Church
Wanted to pass this along to you guys - a generous offer from Pat Morley of Man in the Mirror:
Bestselling Author’s New Book on the Economic Meltdown: Yours for Free
Patrick Morley, author of 16 books including The Man in the Mirror, spent seven years fighting an economic meltdown and survived. He chronicles the spiritual, practical, and financial lessons he learned in How to Survive the Economic Meltdown. Download a free PDF copy at http://www.survivethemeltdown.org/. No strings attached.
I have not read this myself, but some may find this book helpful in these tough times.
Welcome to the blog of the Blood Brothers - The PCBC Men's Ministry.
We hope you will find this blog useful, informative, funny, insightful, etc etc.
We will post the latest announcements and goings-on with the Men's Ministry, along with prayer requests, article links, insights, random thoughts and so on.
Enjoy, and be sure to check back often!